重要健康訊息：玩部落格可能危及您的健康，特別是針對男性而言！這個訊息就像是公共服務，玩部落格會影響你的姿勢，我們先從姿勢開始講起，這是沒有在玩部落格女性的姿勢，這是在玩部落格女性的姿勢（笑聲），這是男人的自然坐姿，蹲坐以利通風（笑聲），這是男人的自然站姿，我想這圖啟發 Chris 安排我到水平思考的演講中，這是男性玩部落格的坐姿，結果是「為了達到更舒服的坐姿，男人坐下時會本能地將雙腿張得比女人開，可是在使用筆電時，他們卻必需調整成較不自然的坐姿，以平衡筆電的重心，但這也使身體產生巨大的熱量，且全聚在雙腿之間」，這便產生了「在地」暖化的問題（笑聲），這是很嚴肅的報社─《英倫時報》，非常嚴肅，這是很（笑聲），各位，請嚴肅一下，這是很嚴謹的研究，標明的部份更是必讀，請注意，你的基因已面臨危機，電腦玩家會變成瀕危物種嗎？事實是：擁有較多筆電國家的人口成長（笑聲），我需要 Hans Rosling 給我繪張圖表（掌聲），全球暖化趣味版（笑聲）。
We are going to talk today about the sequel of Inconvenient Truth. It's time again to talk about Inconvenient Truth, a truth that everyone is concerned about, but nobody is willing to talk about. Somebody has to take the lead, and I decided to do it. If you are scared by global warming, wait until we learn about local warming. We will talk today about local warming.
Important health message: blogging may be hazardous to your health, especially if you are a male. This message is given as a public service. Blogging affects your posture. We start with the posture. This is the posture of ladies who are not blogging; this is the posture of ladies who are blogging. (Laughter) This is the natural posture of a man sitting, squatting for ventilation purposes. (Laughter) And this is the natural posture of a standing man. And I think this picture inspired Chris to insert me into the lateral thinking session. This is male blogging posture sitting, and the result is, "For greater comfort, men naturally sit with their legs farther apart than women, when working on laptop. However, they will adopt a less natural posture in order to balance it on their laps, which resulted in a significant rise of body heat between their thighs." This is the issue of local warming. (Laughter)
This is a very serious newspaper, it's Times of England -- very serious. This is a very -- (Laughter) -- gentlemen and ladies, be serious. This is a very serious research, that you should read the underline. And be careful, your genes are in danger. Will geeks become endangered species? The fact: population growth in countries with high laptop -- (Laughter) I need Hans Rosling to give me a graph. (Applause) Global warming fun. (Laughter) But let's keep things in proportion.
讓我們就事論事，如何以簡易五步對抗暖化，首先，你可以使用自然通風法；或是讓身體更透氣，你應儘量穿著清爽的衣服，要多注意姿勢，像這樣就不太好，你們可以請 Chris 再給我一分半鐘嗎？我必需讓你看支廣告（掌聲），幹得好，那是正確的姿勢，另一項 Wi-Fi 的好處，昨天我們才得知 Wi-Fi 的好處，Wi-Fi 讓你遠離處理器，另外，還有一些進階的保護措施，我想和大家分享，我也要感謝 Philips 的幫忙，這是 1986 年完成的研究，但仍然有用，Scrotal 溫度反應睪丸間的溫度，而且除毛有利降溫，另外，我必需承認我的英文不頂好，我不知道啥是「Scrotal」，我以為是陰囊的形容詞，或是單複數的差別，就像「Medium」與「Media」，數位陰囊，數位媒體，去年我才認知到自己是了不起的陰囊主人（笑聲）。
廣告中的男人：Philips Bodygroom 擁有光滑，人體工學的設計，可以安全且簡單地除去不齊的腋毛、凌亂捲曲的〔嗶〕毛及下面難以觸及的〔嗶〕毛和〔嗶〕毛，一旦你使用 Bodygroom，世界馬上不一樣，當然還有你的〔嗶〕，不只是背部滑順，閃亮肩膀及視覺上額外的〔嗶〕尺寸，我們可以說生活變得無敵溫馨美好。
Yossi Vardi：這是去年最熱門的病毒廣告之一，以 Philips 的視覺尺寸而廣為人知，讓我們為 Philips 鼓鼓掌（掌聲），因為它融入了這麼具人性的姿態，這是他們推廣產品的文宣，這，我真的沒有改編，這是原版，筆電可用來解決人口過剩的問題，但如果不成，總還會促成其他用途，如果你們再邀請我來演講的話，主題將會是為何你不該將手機放在口袋中，這是年輕一代的呼籲（掌聲），我要讓各位知道，我不只是在說教，更有身體力行（笑聲），凌晨四點（笑聲），你不能再使用這張圖片（掌聲）。
我準備了一些小TED獎品─ Philips Bodygroom，一個給領班（掌聲），有人覺得受到威脅，想盡快除毛嗎？（笑聲），有女士想要嗎？感謝聆聽。
How to take care in five easy steps. First of all, you can use natural ventilation. You can use body breath. You should stay cool with the appropriate clothing. You should care about your posture -- this is not right. Can you extract from Chris another minute and a half for me, because I have a video I have to show you. (Applause)
You are great. This is the correct posture. Another benefit of wifi, we learnedyesterday about the benefits of wifi. Wi-Fi enables you to avoid the processor. And there are some enhanced protection measures which I would like to share with you, and I would like, in a minute, to thank Philips for helping. This is a research which was done in '86, but it's still valid. Scrotal temperature reflects intratesticular temperature and is lowered by shaving.
By the way, I must admit, my English is not so good, I didn't know what is scrotal; I understand it's a scrotum. I guess in plural it's scrotal, like medium and media. Digital scrotum, digital media. And only last year I recognized that I'm a proud scrotum owner. (Laughter)
And this research is being precipitated by the US government, so you can see that your tax man is working for good causes.
Video: Man: The Philips Bodygroom has a sleek, ergonomic design for a safe and easy way to trim those scruffy underarm hairs, the untidy curls on and around your [bleep], as well as the hard to reach locks on the underside of your [bleep] and [bleep]. Once you use the Bodygroom, the world looks different. And so does your [bleep]. These days, with a hair-free back, well-groomed shoulders and an extra optical inch on my [bleep], well, let's just say life has gotten pretty darn cozy.
Yossi Vardi: This is one of the most popular viral advertisement of last year, known as the optical inch by Philips. Let's applaud Philips -- (Applause) -- for this gesture for humanity. And this is how they are promoting the product. This is -- I didn't touch it, this is original. Laptop use to solve overpopulation. And if everything failed, there are some secondary uses.
And then our next talk, our next TED if you invite me will be why you should not carry a cell phone in your pocket. And this is what the young generation says. (Applause) And I just want to show you that I'm not just preaching, but I also practice. (Laughter) 4 am in the morning. (Laughter) You cannot use this picture. (Applause)
Now, I have some mini TED Prizes, this is the Philips Bodygroom, one for our leader. (Applause) Anybody feels threatened, anybody really need it? (Laughter) Any lady, any lady? Thank you very much.